Solidarity, the New Sisterhood of Motherhood

In the past 3 days alone I...

  •  almost had a heart attack when my 3 year old called me into the den to show me he LIT. A. MATCH.
  • found my 5 year old attempting to pop popcorn by putting kernels in a plastic grocery bag and heating them in the microwave
  • literally dragged a child out of Target
  •  explained what a French kiss was to a horrified and completely grossed out tween
  • found a wall in our house that got a brand new, one-of-a-kind, custom design put on it by tiny budding artist who apparently works in secrecy and silence
  • listened to a certain nameless child scream at the top of her lungs into a pillow for almost 60 FULL MINUTES because she lost her privilege to watch a movie
  •  took a butcher knife out of the hands of someone MUCH too young to be holding it 

I’m not sure what your last few days have been like, but I’m pretty freakin’ stoked to be alive right now AND not checked into a mental hospital. Can I get a high five of solidarity from another mom?

This is our life, right moms? Every. Single. Day.

Putting out fires {figuratively and literally}, navigating awkward moments {in public and in private}, alternating between tears of laughter and tears of frustration, feeling both so immensely loved and so immensely lonely, and all of this in the span of just a day or sometimes even less.

This is what we do. This is who we are.

So rewarding. So challenging. Wouldn’t change it for the world.

But WOW! These little people are often enough to cause me to lock myself in the bathroom for 15 minutes of perceived peace while pretending to have some serious “business” to attend to. Isn’t a simple lock one of the best inventions ever known to man? Oh yah! Thank you Jesus for creating creative people. No seriously, thank YOU Jesus!

So this New Year, let us MOMS band together.

Let’s cut out the crap and quit looking with a raised eyebrow at the mom stumbling her way through Target while dragging her screaming kid down the aisle. Instead shoot that mom a look that says “I get it sister! Just keep moving. Naptime is coming soon.” I mean, heck, if you're a mom, you've been there, whether it was yesterday or 30 years ago. And if you try to pretend you haven’t been there, in some way or another, you are in such serious denial that you should probably seek professional help. No. Seriously.

Let’s stop judging and demeaning other moms. Yes. Have an opinion. Even state it. Even state you don’t agree with another mom’s opinion. That’s cool. We’re grown-ups after all, even if we forget it because we speak in child language the majority of the time.

But FOR THE LOVE! Don’t attach another mom’s worth and value to her attempt to do THE BEST SHE FREAKIN’ CAN. Isn’t that what we are ALL doing? The best we can?

Our “best” is different than the mom's next to us. Some us were raised in healthy homes with great, loving, and present moms. We started this parenting thing with a bit of an advantage. Others of us didn’t get so lucky and started this parenting journey with no real model or knowledge.

Some of us have a knack for soft voices and the gift of patience. Others of us consider it a successful day if less than 5 obscenities leave our mouths. Some of us are “letting ourselves go”. Others of us are trying to bring ourselves back.

We can ALL grow. We can ALL change. We can ALL learn to be a better version of ourselves. Please, let’s do that. Let’s not settle for just doing what we’ve always done because that’s all we know. When we know better. We do better. 

But let’s be honest. Ever single one is flawed and should really be saving for our kids’ future therapy instead of college. I’m about 110% sure it would be a better investment.

Kids are CRAZY. Remember, we were one of them. Let’s love those little crazy, amazing, adored people the absolute BEST WE CAN and know the mom next door, the mom in Target, the mom drinking a margarita at 2pm, the mom crying in the checkout line, the mom who appears to have it all together, the mom who appears to be falling apart, the mom with 1 kid, and the mom with 9 kids is also doing the BEST SHE CAN.

Solidarity sister. Solidarity.